Beginner’s Guide: How to Avoid Divorce Dallas Premarital Counselor Jada Jackson LMHC

Dallas Premarital Counselor offers 3 Tips to Avoid Divorce before you get married. It’s not a far stretch to assume that impulse marriages, marriages that happen just hours after knowing each other, are highly likely to end in the days or months following the wedding. But recently there has been a trend of planned marriages; couples in committed relationships that plan to wed, then divorce or annul the marriage days or weeks later. Celebrities like, Mario Lopez and his ex-wife Ali Landry dated 6 years and divorced after just 18 days of marriage. Nicolas Cage and ex wife Lisa Marie Presley dated 2 years and divorced 107 days later. And the famous Kim Kardashian wedding to Kris Humphries dated for 6 months then filed for divorce 72 days later.

Is marriage becoming the end-all of relationships? No of course not. I believe the reasons for why people are entering a marriage; dictate the success and happiness of that marriage. If you enter a marriage with the idea of a possible divorce, desires to change the other, or pressure from either side, the success of it lasting decreases significantly. A marriage needs to be based upon a solid underlying friendship, and it needs to meet the needs of both people involved.

Beginner’s Guide: How to Avoid Divorce

Alt text: A couple dealing with separation

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Marriage is often seen as the pinnacle of a relationship, a symbol of enduring love. But many couples soon discover that saying “I do” is just the beginning of a complex journey. Maintaining a healthy marriage requires ongoing effort, understanding, and resilience. Without consistent nurturing, the bond between partners can weaken, leading to frustration, distance, and, ultimately, the threat of divorce.

You might feel that your marriage isn’t as strong as it once was, and you’re not alone. Many couples experience challenges that can make their relationship feel more like a struggle than a partnership. The good news? These challenges are not the end—they’re an opportunity to grow closer and create a more fulfilling bond. A happy marriage isn’t handed to you; it’s earned through continuous effort, communication, and commitment.

This guide will walk you through the essential steps to avoid divorce and build a thriving, satisfying marriage. Let’s dive into the matter to avoid divorce and achieve lasting marital happiness.

How strong is your commitment to your partner?

Commitment is the first step toward a long-lasting relationship and a key factor in avoiding divorce. While adversity is part and parcel of life, you mustn’t let it deter you. Remember why your spouse holds such a monumental place in your life and why you chose to build a future with them in the first place. This mentality will allow you to keep pushing through the tough times. A relationship is not a one-time pact but a lifelong commitment involving sunny and rainy days.

Prioritizing commitment at your end is important for a successful marriage. Let’s see how you can build this commitment with some easy yet powerful tips:

Prioritize your spouse

Prioritizing your spouse goes beyond saying, ‘I love you.’ It’s about showing through actions that your spouse takes precedence over any other aspect of your life. Relationships often become stagnant due to negligence. Even the small things count, whether it’s a peck on the cheek before work or cuddling at the end of a long day. These are the little things that make up the big things. Also, share and discuss your hopes, dreams, fears, and anxieties with them—doing this shows that you value their opinions.

Moreover, never take your partner for granted. Winning them over is not a one-time-improvement task; it’s an everyday job. Keep doing the small things that once made them fall in love with you, from leaving them warm notes to cooking their favorite meal. Love isn’t just about grand gestures; it’s about consistently caring for them — even when the honeymoon phase seems to have died down.

Work through problems together

No two individuals are perfectly compatible. Disagreements are common in a relationship—a sign that you are different. However, healthy marriages are not those without problems, but the ones in which couples know how to work through them together and become stronger.

When faced with hurdles, join hands and take them as a challenge to strengthen your bond and understanding. No problem is bigger than the love and respect you share for each other. It might feel tough initially, but working on problems together contributes significantly to your marital satisfaction.

Instead of pointing fingers or playing the blame game, focus on finding a solution. It’s not about who is right or wrong; it’s about reaching a consensus that respects each other’s feelings. Remember, today’s adversity will only make you stronger and wiser for tomorrow—it is the glue that holds happy marriages together.

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How can you improve communication in your relationship?

Effective communication can greatly enhance your relationships. Below, we’ve outlined key points, like active listening and how you can express your thoughts clearly. These points are to help you improve your communication skills. Check them out!

Active listening

Active listening is a crucial part of good communication, but it is often neglected in conversations. Here’s how you can practice it in your relationship:

• Let your partner talk without interruptions. Show empathy and understanding, even if you disagree.
• Respond with nonverbal cues, like nodding or maintaining eye contact, to show that you’re attentive and interested.
• Paraphrase or summarise what they said to show you understood.

Remember, good communication isn’t about proving a point; it’s about understanding your partner’s perspective.

Expressing thoughts and feelings clearly

A marriage is teamwork where each player needs to be open enough for proper coordination. Each sporting team has a strategy, and so should your marriage. This strategy revolves around open communication. Speaking your heart out liberates stress and fosters better comprehension between you two.

Don’t hesitate to articulate your thoughts, feelings, and expectations. Whether you are upset, happy, or worried, let your partner know. Concealing your emotions might lead to misunderstandings or create unnecessary resentment. Ensure that your words reflect dignity and respect to avoid any bitterness.

Also, express appreciation for small gestures now and then. Praising the other person doesn’t need an occasion. Complement their smile, praise their cooking or a simple ‘thank you’ for something usually works wonders, too! These forms of compliments maintain excitement and prevent relationships from getting monotonous.

Are you nurturing emotional intimacy with your partner?

Trust and emotional intimacy are the pillars of any successful relationship. Especially in a marriage, they serve as the bedrock on which your life-long partnership stands.

Being honest with each other, showing vulnerability, cherishing mutually shared experiences, and embracing every shared grief and joy all count towards cultivating trust and building a deep emotional connection. You’ll cover all these points here:

Be honest with each other

Honesty serves as one of the vital elements in maintaining a strong and loving relationship. Being truthful with your partner about your feelings, fears, aspirations, etc., creates an environment of trust and security. In the absence of honesty, doubts and suspicion creep in, eroding the foundation of love and trust painstakingly built over time.

However, honesty should never be used as a weapon to hurt or belittle the other person. It should be coated with compassion, respect, and affection. It’s about being open about your feelings, concerns, and expectations from the relationship. Integrity in a relationship is more about sharing things that contribute to marital satisfaction. At the end of the day, your partner should be the first person you’re honest with.

Show vulnerability

Being vulnerable with your partner strengthens your bond, enabling both of you to be your authentic selves without fear. It involves entrusting your partner with your deep-seated fears, insecurities, dreams, and secrets. While this might seem daunting at first, it leads to deeper emotional intimacy.

A marriage grows stronger when both partners let their guards down and show their true selves. It’s about accepting and being accepted in return. Open up about your fears, insecurities, and failures, and let your spouse be part of your journey. This openness signifies your deep trust in your partner, reinforcing the bonds of love and trust between you two.

And remember, vulnerability is not a one-time act; it’s a practice that, much like dating, should be nurtured throughout the relationship.

Cherish mutually shared experiences

Cherishing the experiences you share with your partner is essential for maintaining a strong and lasting connection. These shared moments, whether big or small, create a tapestry of memories that bind you together. By reflecting on and valuing these experiences, you reinforce the emotional ties that keep your relationship resilient, helping you both navigate challenges with a united front.

Embrace every shared grief and joy

Embracing both the joyful and challenging moments together is vital for a strong, resilient relationship. When you openly share in each other’s grief and happiness, you deepen your emotional connection and foster a sense of unity. These shared experiences build trust and empathy, allowing you to support each other through life’s ups and downs, ultimately bringing you closer and strengthening your bond.

Alongside these shared moments, the ability to offer forgiveness when mistakes are made and to give compliments freely when things go well helps maintain a healthy and balanced relationship.

How often do you practice forgiveness in your relationship?

Mistakes happen. What matters is how you deal with them. Every relationship experiences moments when one partner hurts the other—sometimes unintentionally and sometimes intentionally. Mastering the art of forgiveness and apologizing sincerely is vital to maintaining a healthy and successful marital relationship.

Let’s dig deeper into the importance of letting go of past grievances and admitting when you’re wrong:

Let go of past grievances

Every relationship faces ups and downs. There will be situations where your partner may make mistakes or hurt you. However, holding on to these past grievances only fosters bitterness and unhappiness in your relationship.

While it might be challenging, letting go of these grievances can work wonders for your marriage’s health. Just as we expect our partners to forgive us, we must extend the same forgiveness towards them. In essence, forgiving doesn’t mean forgetting or ignoring the wrongdoing. Instead, it’s about accepting that mistakes happen and not allowing past grievances to distort your relationship’s present or future.

Remember, forgiveness is not a sign of weakness but of strength, maturity, and love. Harboring resentment invites negativity into your life, while forgiveness helps maintain a peaceful and harmonious environment. Practicing forgiveness can make the journey towards marital satisfaction smoother.

Admit when you are wrong

Conflicts are inevitable in any relationship. Healthy marriages are those where both partners are able to acknowledge their mistakes and apologize sincerely. Admitting when you’re wrong signifies your respect for your partner and the relationship. It connotes acknowledgment of the fact that your actions or words might have hurt your partner and that you are prepared to amend things.

In a loving relationship, there’s no room for ego. Prioritize your relationship over the compulsion to prove yourself right. Realize the importance of apologizing authentically, without any ‘buts’ or excuses. It’s not about succumbing but about cherishing your we mentality more than your I mentality.

How does quality time impact your relationship’s health?

Spending quality time with your spouse can relieve stress at the end of a weary day. It enhances your understanding, fondness, and affection for one another. From date nights to pursuing hobbies together, let’s see how quality time can be an investment in a happier and healthier marriage.

Regular date nights

Cherishing quality time with each other doesn’t always require grand plans. Regular date nights can spice up your time together. Make it a point to arrange for frequent dates where you can enjoy each other’s company undisturbed. It can be a fancy restaurant, a cozy dinner at home or watching a soccer match together.

Date nights can rekindle the spark in your relationship, allowing you to enjoy moments of carefree love away from the responsibilities of children, jobs, bills, etc. These small yet precious moments are a constant reminder of your love for each other and bring back the feeling from when you first started dating. So, try to squeeze in date nights into your routine life and create memories to cherish forever.

Pursue hobbies and interests together

Pursuing common interests or hobbies can enhance your bond and strengthen your relationship. Shared activities can create a sense of connection and mutual understanding. It not only keeps the relationship fun and changes the monotonous routine but also allows you to learn something new together, sparking curiosity and interest. It can be anything like cooking, gardening, hiking, yoga, painting, or even playing a board game.

Additionally, most hobbies involve teamwork, allowing you both to appreciate each other’s skills and contributions. The joy of creating something together or achieving a shared goal enhances unity and companionship. So, cherish your shared hobbies, and if you don’t have one, it’s never too late to find something you both enjoy doing.

How does respecting space and individuality strengthen your relationship?

Let’s learn the importance of supporting personal growth within a relationship, and recognizing the value of maintaining separate interests, and nurturing friendships. Balancing these elements can strengthen your bond, allowing both partners to thrive independently while growing together.

Check them:

Encourage personal growth

Growing together in a marriage doesn’t imply losing individual identities. A healthy and happy marriage encourages each one’s personal growth. Your love should be a source of support, helping each other reach their full potential. Always remember that a marriage should be a safe place for both partners to grow and evolve with each passing day.

Encourage your partner’s ambition and dreams. Be their biggest cheerleader. This will help them grow as individuals and bring happiness and satisfaction into the relationship as they realize that their individual needs and aspirations are valued.

Avoid comparing your partner with others, and cherish their unique qualities. Comparison invariably leads to resentment and dissatisfaction, creating unnecessary friction in your relationship. On the contrary, recognition of each other’s efforts and achievements can greatly boost the relationship.

Maintain separate interests and friendships

While common activities bring you closer, it is also crucial to maintain separate interests and friendships. Respecting and acknowledging your partner’s need for personal space is as fundamental as the bonding you share. This empowers each other to explore themselves independently, enhancing personal growth.

Having different interests allows you to enrich each other’s life. Imagine the delight your spouse might feel when you cook a new dish that you learned in a recent culinary class or share the details of an adventurous trek you conquered with your group of friends!

Maintaining separate friendships paves the way for a more independent and fulfilled life. These interactions can offer a fresh perspective and bring new ideas, thus enriching your personal and marital life.

How seeking professional support can help?

Maintaining a thriving marriage isn’t always a DIY project. There will be times when you might need to turn to professionals for help. If disagreements have escalated into constant conflicts or you feel distant from each other.

It is advisable to seek professional support like couples therapy or attending marriage workshops:

Couples therapy or counseling

Couples therapy or counseling can effectively bridge the gap and revive the love between you two. It is a neutral zone where you can express your feelings without fear of judgment or argument. Thanks to the mediator’s expertise, you will receive guidance on resolving conflicts and improving interaction and understanding.

The therapist can provide exercises and communication strategies that can help enhance the marital relationship, solve differences and reinforce mutual respect and love. Remember, seeking help is not a sign of weakness or failure. On the contrary, it’s a step toward a healthier and happier partnership.

Attending workshops

Workshops or seminars focused on enhancing married life can be a supportive resource. Experienced professionals usually conduct these events and include various sessions on effective communication, handling disagreements, balancing work-life, parenting, financial management, etc.

Apart from acquiring essential skills, these workshops also provide an opportunity to meet and interact with other couples facing similar situations. Listening to others’ experiences and insights can lead to better understanding and fresh perspectives. The experience together can also serve as quality time, where you learn and grow together while strengthening your bond.

Join Total Life Counseling

Navigating the complexities of marriage, whether it’s resolving conflicts, seeking relationship therapy, or preparing for a healthy union, can be daunting. You need expert guidance that makes the process easier and helps you move forward confidently.

Total Life Counseling is dedicated to supporting you through every step. Our team of experienced counselors offers specialized therapy services in Orlando, East Orlando, Lake Mary, Winter Park, and Clermont, FL, designed to help you build stronger, healthier relationships.

Ready to take the next step toward a better relationship? Call us today at (407) 248-0030. Let’s work together to find the support you need. Reach out now!

Conclusion

Maintaining a happy and lasting marriage does involve a good deal of hard work and commitment. However, the fruit of such efforts is a fulfilling and everlasting union filled with joy, love, respect, and mutual growth. The tips we’ve discussed, such as committing to your relationship, developing effective communication skills, cultivating trust, nurturing your relationship with quality time and much more, can help steer your marriage towards long-term success and satisfaction.

Remember, overcoming challenges together strengthens your bond and makes your relationship more resilient. As Helen Keller rightly said, “Character cannot be developed easily and quietly. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, vision cleared, ambition inspired, and success achieved.”

Frequently Asked Questions

How can we improve communication in our marriage?

Communication can be improved by actively listening to your partner without interruption, expressing your thoughts and feelings honestly, and showing respect and empathy for your partner’s opinion. Regular, open conversation reduces misunderstandings and strengthens your bond.

What are some ways to rebuild trust in a relationship?

Rebuilding trust involves admitting mistakes, making amends, and consistently showing that you’ve changed through consistent behavior. It’s also crucial to improve open communication and practice forgiveness. Remember, rebuilding trust takes time, patience, and consistent effort.

How do we balance the time spent together and apart in our relationship?

Balancing time spent together and apart involves planning shared activities while also prioritizing personal interests and friendships. Regularly scheduled date nights and pursue common hobbies. At the same time, ensure each of you has time to pursue individual interests and maintain a sense of individuality.

Premarital Assessments like Prepare and Enrich measures 12 core areas of compatibility so couples can get a snapshot of where they are compatible and other areas they may not have discussed. This can save a marriage before it starts.

Remember, if you or someone you know are struggling with divorce issues, please contact a counselor for assistance. If you haven’t yet tied the not, prepare for marriage success with Dallas Premarital Counseling Services in Fort Worth!

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AUTHOR: Jada Jackson, MS, LMHC – Communicator, Coach & Licensed Mental Health Counselor working with couples, teens, young adults and women empowerment issues in Dallas and Forth Worth Texas! Jada Jackson can be reached at (469) 757-5215 for Dallas Premarital Therapy Services.

AUTHOR: Dani James (Intern)